Denver Post
Friday, November 14, 2003

the dish
Quality of food beside the point for bloodthirsty British critics
By Kyle Wagner
Denver Post Restaurant Reviewer

And you thought I was bad.

According to a New York Times article last Sunday, London food critics have turned reviewing into "a blood sport."

They review on opening night. They use their real names and expect special treatment. They make it clear that food is only a tiny part of the experience, and they will eat you alive if they don't have wicked fun and stellar service at your restaurant.

Leading the pack is A.A. Gill, who looks like Oscar Wilde's toothier brother and writes the
"Table Talk" column for The Sunday Times of London. He is joined in nasty criticism by
Sunday Times colleague Michael Winner (who writes "Winner's Dinners") and Matthew
Norman, critic for The Sunday Telegraph.

Add to the pack the recent hiring of Toby Young at The Evening Standard Magazine. He's the former Vanity Fair scribe who wrote the book/play "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People." The New York Times says Young was told "not to write more than a paragraph about food in his restaurant reviews, but instead to focus on the scene."

Some samples, from Gill: "Slow-baked cheese-and-onion tart - snot in a box." From Norman: "The herb crust (with the cod) could have been adapted, with minimal effort, for use in germ warfare." And Winner: "You don't need to be an atomic physicist to grill steaks, do you? They arrived so raw you could have drowned swimming in the blood."

When I moved from Westword more than a year ago to The Denver Post, Dining Out magazine called me the "Queen of Mean," and regurgitated bits of reviews that they felt were painful to the restaurants. As I look back, though, none of them could compare to Gill's review of 66 in New York, in which he called the shrimp and foie gras dumplings "fishy, liver-filled condoms."

Not that I haven't come close. There but for the grace of my editor go I.

Cold turkey

It was news to Marczyk Fine Foods (770 E. 17th Ave.) a few weeks ago that it's the best "carry-out" place in town, or, at least, that the Rocky Mountain News named it such in its annual "Top of the Rockies" issue. After all, this upscale store is really a gourmet market and a grocery with a wine shop attached, although it has been offering soups and salads and a few pre-packaged, ready-to-eat items such as salsa, barbecued beef and hummus, since it opened a little more than a year ago.

In light of the award, though, Marczyk is bolstering its carry-out repertoire, with new chef Tico Starr (most recently of the Fourth Story and Solera) dishing out whatever's fresh that day, including roast chickens and side dishes to make a complete meal. Lasagne and other pasta dishes are soon to follow, along with a longer list of add-ons so that folks can stop by and pick up a meal to go.

Of course, as the store pointed out in this month's newsletter, "Let's face it, anything you buy at Marczyk is carry-out."

For Thanksgiving, though, they're really getting carried away with a great deal: the "Roast and Host," a pre-stuffed turkey ready for roasting with already cooked sides and dessert for 4-8 diners ($99). You can get a smoked turkey instead for another $40 (they can tailor the size to feed up to 18.)

Free advertising

Rio Grande (1525 Blake St.) has revamped the top floor and put in Rio Cantina, a bar with its own menu of wings, tacos, nachos and quesadillas. Happy hour, with those giant, delish margs, is what will really catch on, with $1 off drinks and half-price food. ... Say it ain't so - the Spicy Pickle has gone franchise, and now anyone with a pickle and few bucks can own one. The first such location is in Lone Tree (10047 Park Meadows Dr.). The company plans to open 23 more in the next year. ... Happy Birthday to The Buckhorn Exchange (1000 Osage St.), 110 years old and
celebrating with $1.10 entrees on the lunch menu Nov. 17 to 21, along with $1.10 drinks
throughout November. ... New menu and a remodeled bar at Solera (5410 E. Colfax Ave.). The sauteed sea scallops with white truffle macaroni and cheese caught my eye. ... Y Lo Epicure (2445 E. 3rd Ave.) grand opening today with a special reception and tasting. The place specializes in takeout and deli items such as panini, salads, soups, house-made desserts and coffee drinks, all for breakfast, lunch and early dinner. Owner Yvonne Lo wowed the judges (including me) at this year's Taste of Cherry Creek. ... Beaujolais Nouveau at The Savoy Restaurant in Berthoud (535 3rd St.) on Nov. 20. Dinner starts at 5:30 p.m. and includes a five-course meal and wine for $60.

By the way, National Split Pea Soup Week is over Saturday. Hope you had a good one.

Kyle Wagner's Dish column appears Fridays in Weekend Entertainment. Contact her at 303-820-1958 or kwagner@denverpost.com